I could be a weather man, person, whatever they are called

I have discovered over the last almost 2 years with this disease that my leg can predict storms.  Earlier today my pain shot up and I told Craig (my husband for those of you who don't know me) that I think the storms were coming.  He looks out the window and says "Joni, it's sunny out" I said well somedays I can feel them coming for days.  10 tonight thunder starts and my leg gets even worse.  I knew a storm was coming. I figured I would take advantage of even more limited mobility and blog a little. 

This is going to be hard to type up.  I just told Craig today how I was feeling.  Last year I grew in my faith so much, it was amazing. This year I have struggled.  Struggled big time.  I feel a little abandoned.  I know he loves me and is always there but I feel like he is just sitting back and watching right now instead of helping or showing me the way.  Today I picked up my bible for the first time in a month.  Last year I read the whole thing 1.5 times. this year I have read 8 books... maybe less.. I find myself avoiding all things Bible.  And I am a Bible hoarder. I have countless bibles. Different translations, different covers, I love all things bible an I was avoiding the thing like it would bite me if I got too close.  Why? I know I need to submerse myself in it and trust in him, I KNOW this. So why do I avoid it? Last night I wrote in my prayer journal for the first time this year and today I read the bible for the first time in over a month.  I hope to continue on this path back to him.  I know it's where I need to be.  I felt so much better about life when I was an avid bible studier. I wan't to feel that steadiness that only he can give me.  One step at a time and one prayer at a time will get me there.

Maybe by me telling my story someone else will feel they aren't alone.

Catch you next time.

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